Monday, June 11, 2007

How to Request a song part two

When requesting a song from the DJ, just say "play my song", or "it goes
something like this". Then hum a few bars! We have a chip implanted in our
heads with an unlimited database with the favorite tunes of every patron who
ever walked into a bar & all songs ever recorded, so feel free to be vague,
we love the challenge.

If we do not remember exactly what tune you want, we're only kidding.

DJs know every song ever recorded, so keep humming. Hum harder if need be
... it helps jog the memory.

If a DJ tells you they do not know a song you want to hear, they either
forgot that they know the tune or they are just putting you on. Try singing
a few words for the DJ. Any words.

It also helps to scream your request from across the room several times per
set followed by the phrases, "AW COME ON!" and, "YOU SUCK!" Exaggerated
hand gestures expressing disapproval from the dance floor are a big help as
well, such as the thumbs down or your middle finger. Put-downs are the best
way to jog a DJ’s memory. This instantly promotes you to the status of
"Personal Friend Of The DJ."

DJs are notorious fakers & jokesters and never really prepare for their
shows. They simply walk on stage with no prior thought to what they will do
once they arrive. A DJ's job is so easy, even a monkey could do it, so
don't let them off the hook easily. Your request is all that matters.

If a t****e DJ had played at the club a few weeks ago, the next DJ that
follows will automatically know every t****e tune the previous DJ ever
played, even if the current DJ is a house or jungle DJ. It's the law.

Feel free to yell Tupac or Biggie!! to a DJ that plays strictly house for


When an DJ leans over to hear you better, grab his or her head in
both hands and yell directly into their ear, while holding their head
securely so they cannot pull away. This will be taken as an invitation to a
friendly & playful game of tug of war between their head and your hands.
Don't give up! Hang on until the DJ submits.

DJs are protected by their equipment, & only play the game
when tricked into coming out from behind their turntables. Though difficult
to get them to play, it's not impossible, so keep trying. They're especially
vulnerable during mixing songs.

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